This is one of the few Epic Meal Time concoctions that had me drooling at my desk. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Velveeta.

Haunted burgers really are the tastiest.

Don't get on that high horse about your New Year's diet just yet. One more slice of meatzza, just one.

I've always said that brunch is the drinkiest of meals.

Pssshht, if they were really serious about this they'd make the entire tree out of meat. Sausage trunk, jerky bark, pepperoni branches. Step it up, boys!

Which would you rather have: a sugar coma or mercury poisoning?

Hey Sauce Boss, that's a rose, not a tulip. Learn your bacon flowers!