I feel you girl, I don't like cake either.

By the time this stupid candle melts down I will have already alienated and offended my date. Burn faster!

I like to think this burger and fries is turning 4 today and has been sitting there, not rotting for all these years.

Oh it's a candle? Uh huh. Okay.

Because guests love to come over and smell meat before they're told they're really having veggies for dinner.

Let's give them a little privacy, shall we? They've been pestered by the paparazzi enough.

Are your kids not getting enough wax in their diet? Let's clear that right up, shall we?