I wish someone would make me breakfast at the office.

Would there be three whole tear-jerking stories about toys without free cereal? The world may never know.

Carbonate me a martini and let's get down to business.

Yes yes I agree, you're fat. Have another peanut butter cup and move along.

Cupcakes may make people fat, but you make people punchy. Which do you prefer?

The rumors are true! Steel yourself for some serious cookie envy!

I'd eat a swine flu sandwich over a SARS pie any day.