No need for lightweight materials in this treehouse, I'm sure the tree can take it.

If you live on waterfront property and have an extra $50,000 laying around, have I ever got a useless extravagance for you!

"What's that on your stairs?" "Oh that? It's an $8000 contraption to lift my fatass dog to the second floor." "My, how INCREDIBLY USEFUL!"

Sometimes you've just got TOO MUCH ROOM amirite?

I thought my windowless galley kitchen in my first apartment was bad! I'd take that moldy dungeon over not being able to open the oven any day!

You need some serious arm strength to get up this ramp in a wheelchair. We only serve beefy beefcakes.

Yes, I'd like thousands of my hard earned dollars to go to a machine that plays me soothing music and sprays my ass with warm water in different patterns. Priorities.