I guess if you've got low standards and are just looking for someone generic to share your bed, that's your prerogative.

You stay away from the mattress, you hear? You can't say I didn't warn you.

I'd gladly sacrifice windows to have such a great view of the moon on my house. For art!

Just like being at Niagra but far more comfortable and you don't have to wear those gross rubber raincoats.

Where on earth did this furniture designer find such an awesome picture of me? This photo was from my wedding day of course. Totally inappropriate for a chair. Would have made a better pillowcase.

Your hair won't show so much on this chair.

I feel like every time I'd go to sit down I'd have to say "Oh, pardon me, ma'am."