Fire Hazard Like Whoa

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Fire Hazard Like Whoa
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I recommend buying your overzealous neighbors fire extinguishers as Halloween gifts. That's a thing, right?

Desonstructed Fire

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Desonstructed Fire
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I say burn the end table first, then start on the wood in the rack.

Wait, No, That Doesn't Go There

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Wait, No, That Doesn't Go There
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You're gonna singe your leather couch there with your ultra-realistic, I-totally-believe-it's-there fireplace.

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires

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Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires
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Honey, I can't read my Dwell magazine, can you light some more candles?

Smokehouse Blues

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Smokehouse Blues
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Oh since my baby left me, I've found a new place to dwell, under the old dead oak tree it's a... walless, drafty fire hazard?

Please Keep Out

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Please Keep Out
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Don't worry, they've subtracted the burned portion from the listed square footage. It's like it doesn't even exist!

THE FIRE APPROACHES!!

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THE FIRE APPROACHES!!
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Get out, get out quick! The fire, it's right behind your house! I mean... cliff. What? No, I was totally kidding I swear.