Don't put your drink near the edge, he'll knock it off with his tail.
Let me just go get a baggie.
Yes, but with a touch of wet dog.
Oh thank god, I have twelve hundred dollars burning a hole in my pocket and my toilet is SO BORING.
I couldn't help noticing that you just went to the store, need some help carrying all that meat?
What a relief, my real dog just refuses to hold still long enough to be furniture!
My dog learned to read and has been trying to poop in that yard for weeks. This explains his love for my old KISS records.
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