My dog learned to read and has been trying to poop in that yard for weeks. This explains his love for my old KISS records.
Oh thank god, I have twelve hundred dollars burning a hole in my pocket and my toilet is SO BORING.
Don't put your drink near the edge, he'll knock it off with his tail.
What a relief, my real dog just refuses to hold still long enough to be furniture!
Yes, but with a touch of wet dog.
"What's that on your stairs?"
"Oh that? It's an $8000 contraption to lift my fatass dog to the second floor."
"My, how INCREDIBLY USEFUL!"
Fido has found the perfect spot to curl up with a good book. You can sit on his lap if you like.
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