Who says dollhouses have to be aspirational?

Fido has found the perfect spot to curl up with a good book. You can sit on his lap if you like.

Let me just go get a baggie.

"What's that on your stairs?" "Oh that? It's an $8000 contraption to lift my fatass dog to the second floor." "My, how INCREDIBLY USEFUL!"

My dog learned to read and has been trying to poop in that yard for weeks. This explains his love for my old KISS records.

I couldn't help noticing that you just went to the store, need some help carrying all that meat?

Don't put your drink near the edge, he'll knock it off with his tail.