To bed.

Nothing sells a house like a kid stripping in the middle of a mess.

Crushed velvet is the eternal symbol of opulence. For vampires.

How can you tell we haven't redecorated since 1993?

Sorry, you'll never ever ever get me to step over that gap to get into the loft pod thingy. In my brain that gap has all the sucking vacuum power of a black hole and will surely kill me.

The difference in width of these haphazardly painted stripes are giving me a headache. Give me symmetry or give me death!

You stay away from the mattress, you hear? You can't say I didn't warn you.