How do I phone?

Maybe if I sit on it really hard it will make the call go through...

Don't I get one phone call?

NO TOUCHING! NO TOUCHING!

Call me Ishmeow.

Annywun interested in an ENTIRE CHAPTER ON ROPES AN KNOTS??? Or maybee jusst moar adventures wib Queequeg?

Hey there, can I get a General Tso's, coconut shrimp, sweet and sour pork, and a doomsday device delivered? Ugh, seriously? You are all out of doomsday devices? Fine, make it a crab rangoon.

Ugh, people dese days. Ai hoep they delibber down here.

Hello, Turtle?... This is cat.

Hello cat, did you dial wrong number?