you may pat my head gently with your pinky finger.

bein gentle iz bery importnt!

I'd like to see that cat try & cross the yard right now! Got me my red weater on for patrollin' today!

it didnt go ober so well last tiem...

i would lol but i found your statement unamusing

srsly, ur nawt eben funnie.

They said I'd look so cute in a sweater I said they'd look so cute in a casket.

hay man, juss taek in stride nekst tiem!

dont hate me cuz u aint me

u do luk so gud awl da tiem!

Dis Howl-o-ween goggie needs ur help wif a capshun!

Look. My grandma gave it to me, OK?

ur gramma nawt know whut is fashunable!