at leest he didnt bury it!

ai need em 2 feel sleepys!

I'm telling you, that rat was THIS TALL!!! Right, Ted. Whatever you say.

ai rilly dunno wut 2 fink of itz...

Tell dat storee agin, bout hao wen u wuz a pup dere wuz no cheezburger site n stoopy hoomns spent moar tym playin wif aminuls.

tayks meh bak 2 da gud ole dayz!

Of course that character isn't based on you you aren't interesting enough.

where shud ai put in da plot twistz?

Iz not fallin asleep I is listening to your enchanting tale

plz, ai needs u 2 be a beddur story tellur!

I just can't shake this writer's block

u need some yoonique inspurayshuns, aifinkso!