I swear it attacked me first!
honestly, dis is awl ur fault, aifinkso!
Mailman, Garbage man TODAY you are mine!!!
ai mite need sum leegal representayshun...
wittle puppeh, u shood try sumfing more produktiv wif dis mirror.
Don't Mess Wif a Frenchie!!
dat was completely unprovoked!
ai will get u nekst tiem!
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