Silly plate, why would I ever use you for food? You think I stole all those dishes from Denny's over the years to EAT off them? They're clearly for decoration purposes only.
Start your day off with a little wonky-eyed derpitude. You won't even care about how much your day sucks!
Your food has a face, deal with it.
The one plate limit at a salad bar is ridiculous, but this is also great for those of us who love the Old Country Buffet but hate walking all the way back for seconds.
Flavor my pancakes, don't drown them. Bonus, if you're a godless heathen you can use the reservoir of syrup for bacon dunking. Freak.
I don't have furniture, it ruins my minimalist aesthetic. You can't put anything down. Deal with it.
People Magazine doesn't know what it's talking about with Bradley Cooper. It's obviously the year of the Gosling.
Non-edible celebs over here!
Can I trade these three sad fish for a porterhouse and steamed broccoli?