I DON'T ALWAYS FITS BUT WHEN I FITS, I SITS
I DON'T ALWAYS WANT MILK FROM YOUR CEREAL, OH WAIT, I DO!
I don't always let you hold me... but, when I do, I fart.
I don't always want to play with my jingly mouse but when I do, I make sure you're fast asleep first.
I DON'T ALWAYS WAG MY TAIL BUT WHEN I DO I MAKE SURE I HIT YOU IN THE FACE WITH IT
I don't always want to be friends. But when I do, I make sure you're reading a book and my butthole is in your face.
I don't always need to go out But when I do, I make sure you are sleeping first