This widdle piggy went to the Daily Squee, and this widdle piggy stayed home. This widdle piggy had all the spots, and this widdle piggy had none. And THIS widdle piggy made me "SQUEE!!!" all the way home.
Cheezburger recommends leaving these pickup lines to their respective animals; please don't try these yourselves. We cannot be held responsible for any black eyes incurred after one's drunken impersonation of an ostrich in a nightclub.