Um, excuse me. I know I said 'rare', but this is ridiculous!

Scuse me barkeep... I ordered a Highball, not a hairball.

Excuse me, miss? Could you bring me a swimsuit bottom in a size 2X? This XL makes my butt look like a sploded can of biscuits.

S'cuse me... Either it rained last nite or you got a serious urinary tract infection

ex'uze me, i kould use a jump start