LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'VE REACHED OUR CRUSING ALTITUDE
FEEL FREE TO TURN ON YOUR ELECTRONIC CAN OPENERS
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In the event of an emergency, shiny dangly things will drop down from the overhead compartment to distract you.
We will now begin our descent by circling the runway 30 times and then land where it is least convenient for the airport.
Ladies and Gentlemen: Please ignore the hissing coming over the loudspeaker,
the captain in the next plane over is looking at me.
PLEASE FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE A BALL OF YARN
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PLEASE TURN OFF ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES, AS THEY MAY INTERFERE WITH NAVIGATION EQUIPMENT. AND NO LASER POINTERS. THEY FREAK ME THE ** OUT.
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