Now, I'm a big fan of buttered popcorn flavored jelly beans but we really need to draw a line somewhere don't we?

How was your weekend? I think you know how great mine was.

This is the drunkest macaroni I've ever seen and I've eaten mac n cheese in the bathtub at 3 a.m.

A three sandwich lunch just became a three martini lunch.

Eating raw naga chillies is for weaklings. Be a man and booze up your spicy. That's gonna be one painful hangover.

It's like alcohol for babies who don't know how to drink like a real person yet.

You can convince drunk people of nearly anything, including the myth that there is enough booze in these eight shots to get any kind of buzz from.