What the eff, man? For real! That hurts!
If I can manage to not gag myself with the tines of that fork while I'm eating broth, my life is improved forever.
Before you eat me, can I tell you about my family? They'd really miss me, I'm the sole breadwinner see... CHOMP
Watch out, give them thumbs and they'll figure out all sorts of advanced things.
Let me perform for you the dance of my chicken people.
I know it's tough now that you're tiny, but can you still make me dinner? I'm so tired!
Logic has no place here. You need serious help.