That's about how it went, yep.

This should keep me awake for days!

Seattle is clearly the place to be. We text in our coffee orders and never have to speak to another human being. Feeling misanthropic? Move to Seattle!

Is that a shot of espresso in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Please, as a former barista I beg you coffee drinkers of America to know what it is you want.

I've always had a thing for gingers, personally.

All I see, everywhere I go, is Japanese schoolgirls. Oh god there's one in my coffee!