Dashing Headwear!

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Dashing Headwear!
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All bald men should adopt this look. It's jaunty, fresh, young, and people will be so hungry around you they won't notice your shiny pate!

Oh Too Bad Mate

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Oh Too Bad Mate
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You've got a nasty chip on your windshield.

Witness Your Own Death

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Witness Your Own Death
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Quit complaining, the inside of her mouth is cleaner than mine.

Dark Side of the Snack

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Dark Side of the Snack
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I didn't realize tortilla chips had such powers of refraction.

Work For it!

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Work For it!
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Chocolate! You are between me and my booze, prepare to die!

Serious Snacking on the Go

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Serious Snacking on the Go
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Gives new meaning to "If I'm wrong, I'll eat my hat!"

You Can Run, Salad Man, But You Can't Hide!

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You Can Run, Salad Man, But You Can't Hide!
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You look scared, I'll put you out of your misery right quick.