Damn Dirty Lies

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Damn Dirty Lies
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I demand my measly $5 back, Subway! One inch is no trifling matter!

Subway Gets Smart

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Subway Gets Smart
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But can they make me a nacho sandwich? I've been waiting all my life for a Subway nacho sandwich!

Technically Correct

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Technically Correct
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G is for green. U is for unrelated.

Mitch Hedberg Would Approve

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Mitch Hedberg Would Approve
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I went to a Subway sandwich shop, and I said, 'Let me have a bun,' but she wouldn't sell me just a bun. She said it had to have something on it. She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just a bun; I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So, I said, 'Alright, put some lettuce on it,' which they did. They said, 'That'll be $1.75.' I said, 'It's for a duck.' They said, 'Alright, well then it's free.' See, I did not know that -- ducks eat for free at Subway. Had I known that,

McFuhrer

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McFuhrer
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Proof that fast food can pacify even the most savage beast.

Hawaii Five-0 Product Placement

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You interrupted an episode of a remake I didn't even know existed for a Subway commercial? If I even knew what channel this was on I'd feign outrage!