I have no idea what I'm doing!
How would YOU feel if I came and chopped down part of YOUR house?
'Scuse me. Pardon me. Hey, buddy. Can ya hear me? Dude, seriously. I'm tryin' to help ya. Okay, fine! HEY DUMB AZZ! YOUR LENS CAP IS STILL ON!
f-stop 16? Good, good depth of field...
Shutter speed 1/15 sec? No, no! You'll get camera-shake!