WELL, THIS IS EMBARRASSING.
Mom... I think I'm old enough to come by own hair now.
FARTING IS NORMAL
Having your tampon fly across the room...not so much
No really, I'd have a doctor look at that.
"I don't think so, Michael. I like you, but only as a friend."
Last time I ever spill my guts to a woman.
OK, so the idea was a little squirrely... just gimme a hand, will ya?