vintage

keep pouring like this my doctor says i can have one glass a day

TODAY THE SAFE WORD IS ''TONTO''

Now load the "Skynet" program Miss Jenkins

-Um, Mary, there's something floating in my tea. --Nothing to worry about, dear. That's just the roofie I slipped in it. It'll dissolve in no time.

Bob, if you want to move up in the army you'll need to haul some ass

Look they've rolled out the lumpy white carpet

NO CHILD SLEPT THAT NIGHT

Lady Gaga's Great-Grandmother

Tonight, you become a woman. When it happens, just lie back, close your eyes and think about shoe shopping.

-Do we have a big enough aquarium at home to keep both of them? --I think so. If not, we can always flush one of them down the toilet.

What horrible things have happened in my life that makes me so happy to do the dishes?

Genetic Munipulation It's the bees knees!

Time's up! Would you like to schedule another appointment for next week?

GIRLS GONE WILD! THROWBACK EDITION!

Oh, sure, this is fun enough, but wait 'til the roofies and viagra kick in.

Okay, this is NOT a good substitute for the Internet!