thats-a-bummer-man

Hit and Run... ...Zamboni edition

McDonald's doesn't deliver.

i haz a grieving

LAST TIME DAD PLAYED WITH ME I WAS STILL IN HIS BALLS

WE CAN'T HAVE SEX TONIGHT. WE'RE OUT OF CASTROL.

MY BED IS TOO LARGE. I HAVE TO ROLL OVER 1 AND A HALF TIMES TO GET OUT OF IT.

SIMON! Get your finger out of me and let's go play tennis. LOL JESUS H. CHRIST! THAT LOOKS BAD. YOU'VE BEEN STABBED!

Who the hell put a lego there!?

OH GOOD GREIF

FRIENDZONE LEVEL 99

Dammit. She came, rolled over and went to sleep. What am I supposed to do now?

I can't remember what I came out here for.

When you wish upon a star, you're a few million lightyears late. That star is dead. JUST LIKE YOUR DREAMS.

i'm drowning in grass again

I'M ALL OUT OF LUV! I'M SO LOST WIFOUT U!

She broke up with me Mistake number one