thats-a-bummer-man

I can't remember what I came out here for.

She broke up with me Mistake number one

Dammit. She came, rolled over and went to sleep. What am I supposed to do now?

NOW THAT THERE IS YOUR PROBLEM

I'M ALL OUT OF LUV! I'M SO LOST WIFOUT U!

PROBLEM SOLVED

When you wish upon a star, you're a few million lightyears late. That star is dead. JUST LIKE YOUR DREAMS.

MY BED IS TOO LARGE. I HAVE TO ROLL OVER 1 AND A HALF TIMES TO GET OUT OF IT.

Just Did It!

i'm drowning in grass again

Hmm..How do you say Herpes in German?

SIMON! Get your finger out of me and let's go play tennis. LOL JESUS H. CHRIST! THAT LOOKS BAD. YOU'VE BEEN STABBED!

SWEET TRUCK! SORRY ABOUT YOUR DICK

i went to the bathroom with my socks on and the floor was wet now my socks are wet...

Buget Cuts The Airforce Had One

McDonald's doesn't deliver.