kids

GET OFF MY RUINS!

Exorciiiiise the Demons!

Kids can be such jerks sometimes

How to Fall Asleep Stuck awake? Youmay have too much energy. You can lower it by drinking a warm glass of milk, laced with horse tranquilizers.

Can you get this letter to my sister in Oregon? Do I look like Kevin Costner to you?

ADDICTIONS THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE, JAKE'S ADDICTIONS, IN ORDER, WERE: CIGARETTES, BEER, LIQUOR, POT, COCAINE, METHAMPHETAMINES, HEROIN AND FINALLY, FATALLY, RAW UNBONED CHICKEN.

Nom Om Nom

SOON!

(Angelina Jolie)

Dad's eating a goose! "Down the hatch!"

I've seen the future... and unfortunately you hit puberty while I remain eternally adorable.

Yes, Mom. He's teething. I remembered you said you used to use whiskey when I was teething. I didn't have whiskey so I made him a White Russian. What do you mean, rub it on his gums?