joke

Female spiders eat the males after mating because collecting life insurance is easier than collecting child support.

Your belfry called. It wants its bats back.

Quick! Take away his credit card!

Now stop me if you've heard this one... Stop.

1 more Cheetos joke and the arms come off.

People usually ask ME "why the long face?"

"One more time, why are we doin' this?" "Hey, if the chicken can cross the road, so can we."

One more crack like "E.T. phone home" and you're on separate trees for a week!

"Whyz everbody lookin' at us and makin' bad punz?" "Ai noe! And yood think dey'd noe howta p'nouce "Ought to!"