Turns out, you DON'T go to hell for masturbating.
Are you an angel? Maybe a Triangle. Just make sure you're not too obtuse. From snow angles to angels, you'll find everything and anything punny about angels. So clap your hands together and grab your protractor and get ready to consistently laugh throughout, at least if you're equilateral.
Turns out, you DON'T go to hell for masturbating.
No, seriously... Just jump. I've totally got your back. It'll be SOOO cool, I promise! Don't worry about those bodies down there... I've got the timing down this time.
I was touched by an angel! Now we are going to call CPS, you sick freak!
Now get a little closer to the well, Timmy. Lassie won't mind.