There are only two things in life that are certain. Guess which one I am.

"Hold my balloon," he said. "I'll be back soon," he said. Well it's been two minutes already and I'm bored.

I know it's been two years but I still miss 'em.

Two-bedroom flat. We haz wun.

Basement Cat is here to steal your soul. And your last two Tupperware lids that still actually fit.