I appreciate your offer to come and cook in the underworld but I think the poor souls there have suffered enough already.

You realize it's just the same 26 letters being rearranged, don't you?

Light travels faster dan sound. ....dis is whi sum people appear bright until yew hear dem speak

You're pursuing a 2nd career? You currently clean toilets, right? Oh, attorney. Meh, same difference.

So, you didn't get raptured? Quelle surprise.

happee frickin Easter

Well, wit mai liberal arts major, what did U expect???