i prefer the quilted northern. it doesn't stick to my teeth like charmin does.

HURRICANE? NO, SILLY, WE LIVE IN ALASKA... IT WAS THE VIKINGS.

It's called an illusion, Michael! A trick is something a dog does for biscuits.

There was a very good reason y Fuzy'z operas were always free.

Ok, so I'm grumpy. All I need now is a reason why.

"I know it's wrong to be so into the neighbors' divorce. But their choice of projectiles is fascinating."

Your intentions are good and I appreciate your missionary zeal but I'm just not interested in your dogma.