95% of dieters who use the Basement Cat Refrigerator Guard successfully maintained their ideal weight (the other 5% were never seen or heard from again) U can haz ur noms if u gibs me ur soul

Basement Cat helps with your New Year's diet resolution I ate ur Lucky Charms and left u the Cracklin Oat Bran. Ur welcom.

Kitteh halps wif dis saym rezolooshun ebery yeer...