MET ONLINE. FIRST DATE.
Should have been more suspicious when profile said likes long walks and bellyrubs.
I don't always tempt you to rub my belly. But when I do, I make sure to latch onto you with all my claws and teeth when you try to.
We need to have a serious discussion about your ICHC problem and how it has been affecting the timely delivery of noms and belly rubs. Your mother and brother will be here in five minutes.