I can't believe you're having YOUR family over for Thanksgiving and you forgot to get extra toilet paper. Have you forgotten what happened last year?

Step 1: Turn on tap Step 2: Run like hell Step 3: LMFAO

Stupid dog, I told him sleeping in the microwave was a bad idea...

dis no luk like dizneeland but u say so, n ai trustiz u

Hang on! To be a real hipster I have to be vegetarian?

Note to self: Don't bat at the dangly bits on a bull.