I think it was drunk before you even cut it open. He never shuts up about how much he loves everyone.

Except they're actually more like cucumbers once you cut them open and taste them. Still, bringing a bowl of these to a BBQ would be pretty hilarious.

Let me do a little Googling for you here; this cube shaped watermelon is roughly $150 American. Commence freaking out.

Just hold me close, I like it.

Funny Food Photos - Donkey Head Watermelon

Don't worry P, there are plenty of young fish in the sea!

It's really, truly, seriously time to do some dishes.