My dog gives me the nicest presents
Cowboy snacks are a little rough, what can I say?
I'm just gonna take this mug into the bathroom with me. Kill two birds, if you will.
Good thing you brought some reading material in there, sister. It's gonna be a long night.
I'm about to start a pilgrimage across the country having birthdays at chain restaurants every day along the way.
Let's just call it a sly play on "before & after".
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