The curse of a self-harming onion, endless tears.

Passive Aggressive Onion only looks for complaints, not solutions.

You really help me tap into my emotional side.

I heard something go by sizzling. Can I have one of those?

You might wanna get that looked at.

Ooh baby, you smell all greasy and fried and odorous.

I'm crying for his children, poor little shallots.