Chewing is For Suckers

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Chewing is For Suckers
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I just want to swish it around in my mouth like a breath freshener.

Physics Do Not Apply Here

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Physics Do Not Apply Here
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I didn't know you could buy non-newtonian fluids in the grocery store!

Seems About Right

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Seems About Right
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Refund? What about Crushed Pineapple don't you understand?

Obvious Package is Obvious

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Obvious Package is Obvious
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Oh thank goodness for the warning, I'm allergic to watermelon.

Sweet Death

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Sweet Death
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Hey look, assisted suicide for kids!

Duff Man Gets Amped Up

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Duff Man Gets Amped Up
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If you're expecting beer, you're in for a nasty surprise.

I'm Thirsty, Yet Confused

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I'm Thirsty, Yet Confused
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You think you're SOOOO clever! You don't fool me with your metal, pull-tab bottle!