No joke, I would watch a half hour show of this.

You'd think you just found out your girlfriend died or something.

Perk up there, captain drama! You're about to be part of an exciting new salad! The performance of a lifetime!

I have a long story too, Gwyneth. It's about not reading a cookbook about being ridiculously privileged and oblivious. It's an awesome story.

What happens when you give a bunch of dudes ten pounds of flour, three copper pipes and an oven? Dramatic chest bumps, that's what.