If you ask me, gaytimes look like pretty fun times!
If god doesn't have a flan for you, perhaps Jack Black and Amy Poehler do.
Just make sure your little ham is wearing his parka and mittens when you put him to the task.
How does that theme song go? "Poke-MAAAANS! The real American hero!"
When you're worried about calories and can't decide whether to have dessert AND a drink, you can just order your dessert liquefied.