Oh my bad, that third one is a kid's hot chocolate, clearly.
This needs to be a part of an intricate Rube Goldberg-type contraption with loud noises, bright lights and a mechanism to shake the bed. Then I'll get up.
Logic has no place here. You need serious help.
I need the coffee to wake me up from the inside, not scare me awake with its terrifying face.
It's better to floss the bacon out of your teeth with bacon floss than to just let the bacon chill between your teeth all day.
I'm just gonna take this mug into the bathroom with me. Kill two birds, if you will.
I'm tired of the same old miracle every morning. Do you have anything in a baby Jesus?
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Someone Needs to Help This Pug
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