Ron Swanson is not messing around with the bacon and eggs.

A long time ago, when I was a baby, I went boom boom on a leaf. Then I fell backwards and sat in my own boom boom and cried for a day, but no one came to help me. That day I vowed to help anyone in need, no matter how small their problem! And that's why I need to go.

Alright detectives, what the heck are the ones on the right?

I love it when I get a whole spoonful of limbs.

"Consume all of this at the same time because you are a free American."

Yes, canned soup and inactivity. The path to a healthy life!

Do you have scurvy and an iron deficiency? This orange flavored, totally-real-I-swear blood beverage has you covered.