Sure I need earplugs to drown out the terrifying nocturnal woodland creatures, but waking up is a breeze.

Ah macrame, the absorber of smells, the siren song of earwigs and moths, home to spiders. And on top of a pool table turned waterbed! Tres chic!

It's so lovely of you to build an entire house for the hundreds of homeless spiders in your little patch of enchanted forest there! I'm sure they appreciate it.