You better be wearing a flag lapel pin and you better damn well salute on your way out the door or I'll sic the eagle on you.

This is the furniture version of me and my brother as kids. We'd sit on the couch back to back with our feet on the arms trying to take up the most space. He was bigger than me and I always ended up on the floor. Poor couch, I'm amazed we didn't kick the arms straight off.

That's what you get for trying to cool down on a hot day.

I'd spend all my time trying to throw paper airplanes through there to my friend on the other side.

I can't be the only one who looks at this and sees this:

Sure the place needed mopping anyway but in this Ice Age we're experiencing, things could get tricky.