Oh thank god, I have twelve hundred dollars burning a hole in my pocket and my toilet is SO BORING.
"What's that on your stairs?"
"Oh that? It's an $8000 contraption to lift my fatass dog to the second floor."
"My, how INCREDIBLY USEFUL!"
I couldn't help noticing that you just went to the store, need some help carrying all that meat?
My dog learned to read and has been trying to poop in that yard for weeks. This explains his love for my old KISS records.
This dog looks so ecstatic to have other dogs inside him. BRING THEM TO ME!
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