Oh thank god, I have twelve hundred dollars burning a hole in my pocket and my toilet is SO BORING.
My dog learned to read and has been trying to poop in that yard for weeks. This explains his love for my old KISS records.
"What's that on your stairs?"
"Oh that? It's an $8000 contraption to lift my fatass dog to the second floor."
"My, how INCREDIBLY USEFUL!"
Let me just go get a baggie.
When I was a kid I was so jealous of my friend who had a trundle bed. Now my dog is jealous. The circle of liiiiiiiife!!
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