stoopid dog why u not read doormat?

Yoo can stae foar a whiel, juss doan't leeb yet.

I is not cat, I is sweater. Keep packing.

So waer are we going agenn?

Cats may act all sleepy and lazy, but the instant you leave for work, this is what happens.

wun moar reezun 2 neber go 2 work aifinkso!

When will I be back? Well, you leave for work in 15 minutes, so I'll be back in 20.

itz kinda liek hao ai napz wheneber u r at hoam.