wife

-Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm? --I would, but you're never home when it occurs.
Via: I Raff, I Ruse
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-Why don't you tell me when you have an org@sm? --I would, but you're never home when it occurs.

You never notice my new outfits. This one with the feather fan cost me three mice and a vole. You could at least look at it.
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Recaption

You never notice my new outfits. This one with the feather fan cost me three mice and a vole. You could at least look at it.

Via: Blog Soup
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MY FAMILY IS COLD AND MISUNDERSTOOD. CAN WE CRASH IN THE CORNER FOR TONIGHT? OR SQUISH MY WIFE. THAT'S COOL TOO.