Everyone, allow me to present my hedgehog massage therapist friend.
His name is Sonic. He became a massager after retiring from professional running.
"Didya leave it on hiz front step??" "YES! Now shaddup and RUN!!!"
OK! OK! I'll get rid of this thing and buy a Prius! I promise!
IT TOOK 30 YEARS, BUT I CROSSED THE FINISH LINE!
It's a TRAP!!!
Don't fall for it!
STOP RUNNING I LOVE YOU